Am I a Cranial Couch Potato?

I wonder what would happen if I just went old school right now. This very minute. Cold Turkey. Zero technology.

Would my head spin around and explode like the Fembots in Austin Powers? Probably.
I want to make a phone call, but I can't because I don't have the number. Why don't I have the number? Read on.

Is even making a phone call considered technology these days? I guess I'll send an email then. Oh, can't do that either! Maybe I'll send out a Tweet? Nope. Maybe I can put a post on Facebook about this? That's not old school. Pen and paper is the way to go I guess. Do I even have a pen?

Seriously? I'm at the mercy of technology. Everything I need and everyone I know and how to reach them is in an electronic device, backed up on the Internet, stored on a hard drive, or a remote server. Everything about my life, including photos and videos is on an electronic device, backed up on the Internet, yadda yadda...

I'm first in line for building the bomb shelter under the house if it was feasible to do. But, apparently, I'm having some identity crises'. My shopping lists are on my phone. Notes about my kids for their baby books - on my phone. Pictures and videos of our lives everyday, on my phone. Email, on my phone. I logged on to Facebook the other day from my computer and didn't know how to work it, because of my phone. My random thoughts about things I need to remember, on my phone. Appointments, on my phone. Birthdays, on my phone. Recipes, on my phone. Last Christmas Eve was almost a crises because I couldn't access the Internet to get the recipe for our traditional meal. No wonder it's so easy to cyber stalk people now...so I've heard....

I felt at one time that this technology thing was clearly the best way to go! In case of a fire or, a natural disaster, nuclear bomb, or something I've never thought of, I could still get to my memories because they would be "out there", and not in a pile of ashes.

But just when I think I'm super techno girl with all my cool, latest gadgets, a software update comes out and erases everyone I know. Ya, I can put the pieces back together. In a slow pre-school, paper mache project sort of way. But it's a mess, and I'm a mess because I realize this ridiculous state of affairs is really ridiculous! And really! I just want to call my dad!

Did I learn a lesson? Do I really get it that I am being held prisoner by an iPhone of all things? Will I do anything to change it?

Maybe this is why God made us with our very complex brains. So we could exercise them by memorizing important things like, how to reach important people, our PARENTS, for example!

Me? I have used up the storage space in my brain with every line of every episode of Seinfeld. Just on the off chance I would ever be on a game show and a Seinfeld question was asked, I would know the answer. YES! I have a one in 15 million and eighty chance of winning 20 thousand dollars! It has come in very useful today.

I can't even tell someone how to get to my house because I don't know all the street names! My instant reply with directions is, "Do you have Google maps on your phone?" I mean seriously, why are you asking me how to get here, you moron?! I just live here! Use your phone to figure it out, STUPID! 

So honestly, I think all this "make my life easier" stuff, has actually started a new epidemic of the cranial couch potato.

All this from just wanting to call my dad.

And now I have to delete this blog, and throw this computer in the trash.....and find a pen....