I wonder what would happen if I just went old school right now. This very minute. Cold Turkey. Zero technology.
Would my head spin around and explode like the Fembots in Austin Powers? Probably.
I want to make a phone call, but I can't because I don't have the number. Why don't I have the number? Read on.
Is even making a phone call considered technology these days? I guess I'll send an email then. Oh, can't do that either! Maybe I'll send out a Tweet? Nope. Maybe I can put a post on Facebook about this? That's not old school. Pen and paper is the way to go I guess. Do I even have a pen?
Seriously? I'm at the mercy of technology. Everything I need and everyone I know and how to reach them is in an electronic device, backed up on the Internet, stored on a hard drive, or a remote server. Everything about my life, including photos and videos is on an electronic device, backed up on the Internet, yadda yadda...
I'm first in line for building the bomb shelter under the house if it was feasible to do. But, apparently, I'm having some identity crises'. My shopping lists are on my phone. Notes about my kids for their baby books - on my phone. Pictures and videos of our lives everyday, on my phone. Email, on my phone. I logged on to Facebook the other day from my computer and didn't know how to work it, because of my phone. My random thoughts about things I need to remember, on my phone. Appointments, on my phone. Birthdays, on my phone. Recipes, on my phone. Last Christmas Eve was almost a crises because I couldn't access the Internet to get the recipe for our traditional meal. No wonder it's so easy to cyber stalk people now...so I've heard....
I felt at one time that this technology thing was clearly the best way to go! In case of a fire or, a natural disaster, nuclear bomb, or something I've never thought of, I could still get to my memories because they would be "out there", and not in a pile of ashes.
But just when I think I'm super techno girl with all my cool, latest gadgets, a software update comes out and erases everyone I know. Ya, I can put the pieces back together. In a slow pre-school, paper mache project sort of way. But it's a mess, and I'm a mess because I realize this ridiculous state of affairs is really ridiculous! And really! I just want to call my dad!
Did I learn a lesson? Do I really get it that I am being held prisoner by an iPhone of all things? Will I do anything to change it?
Maybe this is why God made us with our very complex brains. So we could exercise them by memorizing important things like, how to reach important people, our PARENTS, for example!
Me? I have used up the storage space in my brain with every line of every episode of Seinfeld. Just on the off chance I would ever be on a game show and a Seinfeld question was asked, I would know the answer. YES! I have a one in 15 million and eighty chance of winning 20 thousand dollars! It has come in very useful today.
I can't even tell someone how to get to my house because I don't know all the street names! My instant reply with directions is, "Do you have Google maps on your phone?" I mean seriously, why are you asking me how to get here, you moron?! I just live here! Use your phone to figure it out, STUPID!
So honestly, I think all this "make my life easier" stuff, has actually started a new epidemic of the cranial couch potato.
All this from just wanting to call my dad.
And now I have to delete this blog, and throw this computer in the trash.....and find a pen....
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
The Christmas Card Fire
What do you do with the Christmas cards you receive once Christmas is over?
Do you keep them for a few months in a stack on the counter, where they get hidden under magazines you keep because you just swear you'll read them when you have a minute. Do they get stacked under the instructions for how to work the iPad you got for Christmas that your two year old is already surfing YouTube, purchasing Elmo videos from iTunes, and Skyping, but you haven't used it once....?
Are you one of those that puts them with the boxed up Christmas decorations where they are unpacked next year and you're like, What the *bleep* did I keep these for? And who are these people? Why did they send me a card? This one's not even signed...,or, HAHA!That one is a good one! I wonder if they will notice if I copy it for this year...
Are you the infamous, I love to hate you, SCRAPBOOKER? Who tediously cuts out all the little sections of each card, including quotes, to keep them perfectly filed away in your collection of perfectly fabulous photo embellishments? Yeah? well....
Or, are you the obsessive compulsive dissociative disorder person, that in a moment of "clarity, zen, and organization", you burn them to the ground with gasoline??!! All while deep breathing to center your Chakra, which is no ONE I KNOW!
Do you keep them forever because you think the persons who sent them might be hurt if you trashed them? Do you keep some and trash the rest? And then what do you do with them if you do keep them?
Well if you're a creative genius with lots of time on your hands, you'll come up with something. Or, if you're a Hoarder, which seems to be a growing trend these days according to television, then you will keep them with the righteous intent of doing something with them SOME day. But instead, eventually be evicted by the Fire Marshall because, you have so many boxes of crappy Christmas cards, you can't use your toilet because you can't FIND the bathroom! Then in order to try to throw some cards away so you can get a general idea of which direction the bathroom is even in, you need to loose weight so you can fit through the 4 inch opening that only the front door will allow you to squeeze out of! Okay, that was extreme and slightly off topic, and made little sense, but it could happen to some people I know....
It would be kinda nice to have a non-time consuming way to recycle Christmas cards since I'm totally into the green thing. And I'm sure I could find one, if I wasn't writing this, but instead scouring the Internet for some Crafty Cathy's idea about how great old Christmas cards look when you make an origami city out them....
So! If you have a good and useful idea for Christmas cards, let's hear it! Because, mine? Well, mine are in a stack on the counter, and I keep looking at them, thinking, if I leave them out to be in the way, I will eventually remember to think of something awesome to do with them.
As much as I love opening cards when they come, and seeing every ones face once a year, and showing them to everyone on the mantle, the longer they sit there in that glittery little pile on the counter, the more I think of what a pretty, glittery, post Christmas, toasty, warm fire they would make!
Do you keep them for a few months in a stack on the counter, where they get hidden under magazines you keep because you just swear you'll read them when you have a minute. Do they get stacked under the instructions for how to work the iPad you got for Christmas that your two year old is already surfing YouTube, purchasing Elmo videos from iTunes, and Skyping, but you haven't used it once....?
Are you one of those that puts them with the boxed up Christmas decorations where they are unpacked next year and you're like, What the *bleep* did I keep these for? And who are these people? Why did they send me a card? This one's not even signed...,or, HAHA!That one is a good one! I wonder if they will notice if I copy it for this year...
Are you the infamous, I love to hate you, SCRAPBOOKER? Who tediously cuts out all the little sections of each card, including quotes, to keep them perfectly filed away in your collection of perfectly fabulous photo embellishments? Yeah? well....
Or, are you the obsessive compulsive dissociative disorder person, that in a moment of "clarity, zen, and organization", you burn them to the ground with gasoline??!! All while deep breathing to center your Chakra, which is no ONE I KNOW!
Do you keep them forever because you think the persons who sent them might be hurt if you trashed them? Do you keep some and trash the rest? And then what do you do with them if you do keep them?
Well if you're a creative genius with lots of time on your hands, you'll come up with something. Or, if you're a Hoarder, which seems to be a growing trend these days according to television, then you will keep them with the righteous intent of doing something with them SOME day. But instead, eventually be evicted by the Fire Marshall because, you have so many boxes of crappy Christmas cards, you can't use your toilet because you can't FIND the bathroom! Then in order to try to throw some cards away so you can get a general idea of which direction the bathroom is even in, you need to loose weight so you can fit through the 4 inch opening that only the front door will allow you to squeeze out of! Okay, that was extreme and slightly off topic, and made little sense, but it could happen to some people I know....
It would be kinda nice to have a non-time consuming way to recycle Christmas cards since I'm totally into the green thing. And I'm sure I could find one, if I wasn't writing this, but instead scouring the Internet for some Crafty Cathy's idea about how great old Christmas cards look when you make an origami city out them....
So! If you have a good and useful idea for Christmas cards, let's hear it! Because, mine? Well, mine are in a stack on the counter, and I keep looking at them, thinking, if I leave them out to be in the way, I will eventually remember to think of something awesome to do with them.
As much as I love opening cards when they come, and seeing every ones face once a year, and showing them to everyone on the mantle, the longer they sit there in that glittery little pile on the counter, the more I think of what a pretty, glittery, post Christmas, toasty, warm fire they would make!
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